“It was the best of times; it was the worst of times.” The
opening line from
A Tale of Two Cities might describe parts of 2012 for
me….and maybe for you.
I remember the
thought “I am happy!” coming to me several times as 2011 closed and 2012 began.
It wasn’t anything I could name but a sense of contentment. My granddaughter,
Darian, seemed to share that joy as she posted on her Facebook page, “I love my
perfect life!” It was the best of times.
On February 1, we (my daughter, Ricque, son-in-law,
Kevin, granddaughter, Darian, her fiancé, Chad, great granddaughter, Berkeley
and grandson, Dalton) celebrated the 50th Anniversary of my 16th
birthday! Dylan was working in North Dakota but called so we were all together.
It was a fun night and I wrote in my journal about Darian getting on the floor
to teach 7 month old Berkeley how to crawl. It was a “blessed evening.” It was
the best of times.
Just hours later,
our lives changed forever. Darian, 21, had gone to a late night memorial for a
classmate who died three days earlier. Coming home she lost control of the
vehicle and her life ended. It was the worst of times.
Our family has made
it through the last ten months on the wings of the prayers of those who love
us. We thank you for that. At times I know that is all that keeps me
functioning.. We all struggle. Kevin and Ricque are blessed to have a community
of friends who have gathered around them. Dylan is home with us…still looking
for a job. Dalton is a junior, a soccer and basketball player…and his teammates
have been a source of support!
But
responsibilities continue. I had been invited to Kenya to serve as the
Installing Officer for USFW-K. (I am the president of United Society of Friends
Women International.) I had also arranged to spend a week in North Ireland on
the way to Africa to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day on the Emerald Isle. It was
wearisome to travel for four weeks but it was also healing. Receiving love and
care from friends in Ireland was a balm. Walking along the sea, I received a
message from God about brokenness. Many of the shells that appear whole are in
fact only half of the original…the other half is broken and even crushed. I thought
of myself…while I may appear whole and doing well, half of me is indeed
crushed, never to be intact again. So let me focus on the wholeness of what
remains—wholeness in Christ.
The three weeks in
Kenya were busy as I visited up and down from Kitale to Bungoma to Kaimost and
Kisumu. I stayed in many homes; two of my hosts had lost adult children. One
recently; the other, twelve years earlier. We shared our sorrows and I saw that
this would not “pass” but be forever a difficult journey. Thank you God for
giving me host families who have walked this path.
Chad, Berkeley’s
daddy, went back to work and Berkeley came to the grandmas! Actually she is
blessed with several grandmas (I think this is right…2 grandmas, 3
great-grandmas and 2 great-great grandmas!) My daughter, Ricque, ‘Meme’ to
Berkeley, has her on Mondays. I have her on Wednesday (after she has breakfast
at Meme’s). On Fridays I take her to Mothers’ Morning Out so she can play with
other toddlers. In the afternoons we nap!! : )
Chad’s family take Tuesdays and Thursdays and she is with Chad and his
family evenings and weekends.
Berkeley’s first
birthday in June was an extravaganza with everything Darian had wanted. Yes!
She had been planning this party for months! We found the cake on Pinterest, of
course! Ricque worked on it for weeks and gave me a task list that I was
delighted to do! We used over 200 yards of tulle to decorate….Imagine!! Even
the high chair was festooned in tulle! A party for a princess! It was almost
the best of times….just missing Darian!
Berkeley is now 18
months old and seems to be thriving. I think she has all of us trained pretty
well! I won’t bore you with how incredibly smart she is…unless you ask!
Darian’s dog,
Willow, a 2.1 pound Miki-Chihuahua (Maltese-Yorkie-Chihuahua) has come to live
with me. She also has me well trained! She’s a great LITTLE lapdog but does
have a carseat for jaunts out. She loves it in the summer when we drive with
the convertible top down!
I continue to work
4-6 hours a week at the church, serve as the USFWI president and on the FUM
General Board. I traveled to North Carolina in August and to New England in
October speaking as USFW events and churches. I still teach adult Sunday
School…love that class!!...and serve in a variety of committees. Life has
certainly brought some difficult times this year. I rejoice in the knowledge
that God has not forsaken me but I will tell you, sometimes it is not so easy
to talk to Him. December is not an easy month for those who grieve. Darian’s
birthday on the 17th added to that sorrow. However, Ricque hosted a
memorial party for Darian. Thirty of us gathered with the intention of lighting
Chinese floating lanterns. It was rainy so we went to plan B…we shared
scripture, stories, tears and prayers together, then lighted 22 tea-lights
inside and sang a hearty Happy Birthday to her, our Forever 21 Darian. There
were lots of tears and more healing.
Knowing that Darian
loved parties, we also celebrated Berkeley’s HALF-BIRTHDAY!! That helped us
through the weekend. And since Darian instituted the “birthday month” in our
family…we knew she would have loved the Half Birthday!
In all of this, I
am grateful for the hope we have in Jesus.
May you and yours be blessed in this season and always. Jesus loves you!
Much Love,
Pat
Pat
I don’t know what the future holds,
but I know who hold MY future.
